OK so first…being 18 is hard….we all dream of the day we are grownup then that birthday comes and over night pow we are now grownup on paper but no magic instruction book appears to tell us how to do things…..and things that seem to be huge today 6 months from now we look back and kinda think really…??
With that said your problem is not an unusual one. We all have times in our life that it is hard to find our inner strength. My suggestion to you is to try at least once to sit down with your sister and explain how you feel. Let her know that you love her and she will always be your sisiter but your feelings are strong for this young man. My question to you though is this….he’s your sister’s x for a reason…you may want to learn from that… As far as the rest of your family we all dream of having a close loving family that we can share everything with and be ourselves. Very few people are lucky enough to have that. I would be honest with your father that he lost your respect when he was unfaithfull with your Mom and although he is your Dad it’s going to take time for you to rebuild your relationship. One of my favorite quotes is “When you love yourself you forgive your own imperfections”….. It’s important to live a moral life…..when you look yourself in the mirror at night and brush your teeth only you can judge the choices that you make, if your not proud of those choices only you can change them.
Well this is a problem everyone faces at some point in their lives. The only thing we have control of is our reactions to others…right. First off try to look at your situation honestly…..some times what’s driving us crazy is our parents trying to do what they are supposed to and that’s help us make good long term decisions. Sometimes we want to be all grown up and yet we still have a few years to go. And a lot times kids look around and think wow everybody I know has so much more freedom than I do….but if you really look at their lives, their freedom isn’t a good thing it’s their parents not being the best parents they could be.
If you are older college age or so the deal is this is as hard of a time for your folks as it is for you….boundaries, new relationships, new friendships, and distance all play a part….try to find a way to let your wings spread without completely leaving your folks out of the picture….remember they may be feeling a sence of loss and grief at your growing up!
If there are more serious issues than growing pains….there are definately people at school you can talk to.
Hi well be sure you are not alone!!!!! Lots of people feel the same way on big campuses and small campuses….you can be in a sea of people and still feel lonely. The easiest and best thing to do is take a look at your campus activities. Find two or three organizations that interest you and start attending their events. Volunteer to help out on projects and you’ll be making friends fast. If you live on campus your Residence Hall association is another place to meet the people in your building. If you are interested in peer education, most campuses have a Bacchus Group or other group on campus that’s involved in social justice issues that include drinking, domestic violence, sexual responsibility, sometimes recycling and enviromental issues as well. The key is simple: seek people out….even though you’re shy, if you make an attempt to be involved, those walls will come down fast. If you’d like to listen to some of my older podcasts, I have several with students talking about how to get involved. You can visit www.straighttalkwithcathy.com and check out the archives. Let me know how it goes~
Hi. Well you didn’t mention how old you are and that kinda plays a part in my answer. First off everyone …. well almost everyone at some time in their life has strong feelings for someone of the same sex. Lots of times that’s a combination of admiration of that person for qualities that person has that make them special plus sometimes there’s other things about them that just make them safe and nice. I’m sure you’ve heard the term man crush…well girl crush can be the same kinda thing….and it’s just knowing this friend is really special and I like hanging out with them.
If you’re a little older and you’re having these feeling my suggestion is that you really take time to think it through. If you are sure you’re ready to handle the situation then I would talk to her. But understand just like with a guy…..she may or may not feel the same way….it’s always a risk……but if your ready to take the chance then maybe consider asking her to meet you somewhere to talk.